Allen Adam shares his Testimony. Escaping Addiction's Shadow: Breaking Generational Trauma Through Faith

From the brink of suicide to a life transformed by divine intervention, Alan Adams reveals the raw reality of growing up in the grip of addiction, instability, and abandonment. His powerful testimony begins with a childhood marked by a drug-addicted household, a mother in prison, and a father who was rarely present, forcing young Alan to navigate a world where survival meant constantly adapting to new homes and schools.

The turning point came on a railroad trestle at age 13, when—ready to end his life—Alan heard a voice saying, "I love you, don't do it." That divine encounter literally saved his life and began his journey to faith. Throughout the conversation, Alan shares how coaches, youth pastors, and everyday people became unexpected lifelines, showing how God often works through ordinary individuals to reach those in crisis.

This deeply moving episode explores the challenges of breaking generational cycles, finding identity beyond childhood trauma, and learning to parent differently than how one was raised. Alan's story particularly resonates with listeners who've experienced similar struggles, offering hope that your darkest moments can become your most powerful testimony. The biblical story of Peter walking on water becomes a powerful metaphor for maintaining faith through life's storms—"The second you take your eyes off Him, you'll start to sink."

Whether you're currently walking through your own valley or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers profound insights into how God can transform pain into purpose. As Alan emphasizes, "What the devil meant for evil, God turned around for good." If you're feeling alone or surrounded by impossible circumstances, this testimony reminds you that God sees you, loves you, and has a purpose for every painful chapter of your story.

Chapters

• 0:00 Growing Up in Troubled Homes
• 19:00 Finding Escape Through Music and Sports
• 33:00 Standing at the Railroad Trestle
• 51:30 The Impact of Father Figures
• 1:08:00 Unconditional Love and Family
• 1:24:00 Seeking Stability Amid Constant Moving
• 1:38:00 Peter Walking on Water

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

When your burdens get real heavy.

Speaker 3: 0:16

And when old troubles troubles get in your way. Hey, it's your host, Eddie. You're listening to 421 Show. Hey, go check out our website at hor421showbuzzsproutcom. Trouble getting your way. Also, you can listen to the Cavewood Church of God's Sunday service, Aaron, once a week. If you'd like to support the show, you can support it through PayPal, slash HOR421, or you can go through our website at HOR421showbuzzsproutcom. All shows are recorded live, no post-editing recorded at the 421 studio. For contact information for all of your studio needs, you can email at hor421ministries at gmailcom. Phone numbers 239-849-1502 thank you, jesus praise the lord, glory to god.

Speaker 3: 1:14

A little technical difficulties trying to get things going, but I have a special guest with us today, uh, alan adams, and he is going to be sharing his testimony and, and it is a pleasure for you to be in the studio today I'm glad and happy and I'm excited to hear what God has done for you and what he's going to do for you and where he's taking you, and you know what God has brought you out of. And, and before we get started, if there's anybody out there that don't know Christ, I beg you with my whole heart, please, please, just call upon the name of the Lord, and you know the Lord says whosoever, call upon his name, his name alone, jesus. Now you got to say Jesus and he'll save you and he'll do the rest. And, folks, we think we got to do it all. We don't, and I'm going to put Alan in the hot seat. There you go, brother, it's yours.

Speaker 1: 2:06

Appreciate it. Yes, I felt like when I share my testimony, I had to start from when I was younger Right, because there are certain things I went through that I feel like a lot of people go through, but they don't necessarily like to share that part of the testimony or they just shy away from it or whatever it be.

Speaker 3: 2:28

I felt mine was embarrassing yeah, that's probably a big part of it when I first I was like man, I can't share some of this stuff. And then, as I got more deep into the Lord and I realized you know, people need to hear it.

Speaker 1: 2:40

Yes, yeah, because you never know what anybody's going through or what they've been through, right? I mean some people, just I guess most people really feel like they don't deserve it. They don't deserve the forgiveness God gives us. That's a big one too, right there. Yeah, definitely. But I'm going to start back.

Speaker 1: 3:01

When I was young, pretty much grew up in a drug home. My mom was by herself there for a while and she ended up having to sell dope and stuff just to make ends meet, be able to provide for us and stuff. My dad was never in the picture, so I stayed in and out of people's houses. We'd always move around place to place, trying to just get by. Really, she tried the best she could, but she could only do so much. And then she ended up eventually getting caught up and going to state penitentiary and my dad ended up picking us up. They found out and the lady he was with told them and he came down and picked us up and, mind you, I was probably eight, nine-year-old when this happened and never really I knew who he was. He would pick us up every now and then, but it was like once every two or three years or something like that. It wasn't very consistent at all, you know. And he just showed up I think it was two or three in the morning and we got woke up and the people that's keeping us um told us that our dad was there to pick us up.

Speaker 1: 4:17

And I was confused, man, I had no clue what was going on. And, uh, we met him at the local school there and he moved us to Tennessee. Um, and there was a lot of uh questioning and stuff going on, you know, because technically I went from a bad situation to a worse. Really, um, I hate to say it, but he probably definitely wasn't. He shouldn't have had us, they should have just left us where we was. And that's part of the system, you know, it's something hopefully the system gets fixed on. But we ended up moving with him in Tennessee and, same thing, he was bad on drugs and at the time I didn't know it, we still struggled, so there wasn't much that changed, um, at first, I didn't realize my childhood until I got older.

Speaker 3: 5:13

Yes, it was like it hit me with like a ton of bricks yes you're like wow, I didn't realize how bad I had it you think it's normal? Yeah, you grow up, yeah, up in it, normalize that.

Speaker 1: 5:24

Yeah, it's weird how you can normalize something that bad and like I guess people knew how bad we had it, but you never really knew how bad you had it because you always thought that was how everybody was. But your friend group's pretty much the same way. You know, you surround yourself around friends, that's just like that. My scapegoat was TV. You know, you surround yourself around friends, it's just like that.

Speaker 3: 5:45

And my escape goat was tv. Yes, I'd fantasize, you know, I'd watch, you know the leave it, the beaver and you know, and I'd see all the cartoons with the families and I'm like, why in our family, like that?

Speaker 1: 5:56

yeah, you know, yeah, I would, uh, my biggest thing I enjoyed doing to, I guess, escape reality would be music. Yeah, music helped me out a lot. You asked earlier about the music taste I have and that's why I said I like anything right. Um, because it I don't know what it was, man, it was always something about the music and the beat that would kind of just take you away. I mean, it was a way to be able to escape that and I always I had MP3 players and stuff like that when I was growing up and that would be what I would use to escape when my mom had me and when my dad. So that was kind of my escape there.

Speaker 1: 6:36

But, like I said, you get your friend groups. You have the same friend groups that you pretty much know. At your friend groups you have the same friend groups that you pretty much know. So I was around kids that always had hard lives. Their parents was on drugs and that was normal. You know, that was something you always felt like everybody dealt with. And it wasn't because when the older I got, the more I started feeling alone Because, like I said, the friend group I had was part of the drug situation also, which means they moved around. Some of them wasn't lucky enough to have family members to get them. They got put in foster care Right. So I was constantly having to make new friends, constantly having to find new places to live, and it was you kind of normalize that because you think that's how everybody else does. But it wasn't. And it made finding friends easier for me, but at the same time I would also find whatever friend group would take me in, whether it be the good people or the bad people, it didn't really matter.

Speaker 3: 7:46

I always had a hard time finding people to hang out with. It's either I was too bad of a kid and their parents didn't want me to be. You know them to be around me Because they knew the lifestyle that you know I grew up in.

Speaker 1: 8:06

I think it's weird to say this, but I think people felt bad for us so they really didn't care if their kids hung out with us, because we was just trying to, I guess, get away from that and they was trying to help. So I would just I'd take any friends I could get.

Speaker 3: 8:19

I started noticing the parents and then I started manipulating the situation. I'd lie about where I was from, who I was, what type of lifestyle, because I wanted to be accepted amongst my peers.

Speaker 1: 8:35

Yeah, I started doing that probably toward eighth grade Right fourth eighth grade Right but by then we ended up moving several places in Tennessee and I went to three different schools within two years. So you can imagine oh yeah, I've been there and done that. Yeah, it's not easy to try to make friends and you try to fight it, but at the end of the day you have to go where your parents go. You don't really have a choice to make there it got so bad me switching schools.

Speaker 3: 9:07

They held me back. Yes, I ended up in the same grade as my sibling. I did too my sister. I was like we're both in fourth grade together and I'm like, hmm.

Speaker 1: 9:18

And you're like a year or two older than her. Yeah. Or him, whoever it was. But yeah, I was the same way, but mine was more of the like I told you. I grew up when my mom had me and my dad would come and go and that caused a lot of issues, so I would always act out. I was always, I guess you'd say, angry. I didn't know it when I was a kid. No kid really knows that they're angry you think that's the norm.

Speaker 1: 9:43

yeah, but I ended up getting held back because of that. I think it was fifth grade that I got held back.

Speaker 3: 9:52

I think you know not to interrupt you. But that made me feel worse. That made me feel like I was stupid. Yes, and then in the back of my mind, I know, you know, like I understand what they're talking about, you know on the blackboard. But then all of a sudden I hear them, you know, whispering, you know. And yeah, he's not educated enough, he's not smart enough. Yes, it's crazy.

Speaker 1: 10:15

It is, and especially at a young age like I was I'm assuming it was the same for you you start to question what you hear. Yes, I guess the saying sticks and stones come in my mind and the words may never hurt me. I mean, it really hurts and you think about that the rest of your life. Regardless what you do, I do it now still. I go to do something and in the back of my mind I have that well, he's not smart enough or he's not capable enough to do this or that, and it's always in the back of your mind because you've been told that your whole life I call that the echoes of past.

Speaker 3: 10:57

Yes, you know words and people don't know how strong our words are. You know, just our actions alone are strong. But when we we belittle somebody, we brutal to somebody, you're brutish. However you want to say it, you know, I try my best not to you know down people anymore. Yes, because I know personally where that took me yes, yeah, see, I was.

Speaker 1: 11:26

I was always into sports, right um. So when I was able to actually play um, I had the luxury of being able to be in the midst of everybody right um, the cool guys or the popular kids you'd say, and right um, not so popular kids. I was friends with everybody because I knew where I came from, right, I knew how I grew up and I knew what it was like to be shunned and only be a part of a certain group because of the way you look, the way you act, even though you couldn't really help that right. So I was always trying to be nice to people and it really became a part of my personality and it started when I lived with my dad. I suffered from seizures and they said it was stress related and it made sense. Looking back now, everything that I went through it could be stress related, but I also had a history of that in my family. So my dad and them, my stepmom's, actually, what made it a little bit easier? It was one that was with my dad at the time. She tried to get me to get off the medicine because she knew how much I liked sports and that was kind of my secondary scapegoat, I guess you could say so. She tried to work as much as she could and pretty much like my mom, and she tried to do what she could to try to help us get by. Even though she wasn't our biological mom, she still tried to be there and tried to guys at the time I always ended her for it and I was frustrated at her and, looking back, she was really just trying to help. She was trying to help me more than anything. She didn't want me to turn out like my dad, right, um, and I always remember that um, because when we moved back, I'm gonna keep going with my story and I'll get into that. No, go ahead, you got the mic, brother.

Speaker 1: 13:14

Um, I ended up getting off the seizure medicine, started playing football, right, and from there on it, like I don't know what it was, everything started to change For me. It started to change the lifestyle that my dad and them was living didn't change. You know it didn't help any, because I would go to sports and you know parents are supposed to pick your kids up after sports, you know, and I would be sitting there 30 minutes to an hour later and my coach would be like where's your dad at. I'm like man, I don't know I go to call, nobody answers. So my coach would have to take me home, and it got to the point that he would just end up taking me home after practice anyways and not even worry about my dad picking me up, and that's the stuff that I felt like was normal and most people's like man. That's crazy that somebody can do that to their own child.

Speaker 3: 14:10

Oh, I'm all and my mom says I had to walk. Yeah, you know, if I did any outside activities outside of school, you walk home, boy. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 14:20

Yeah, yeah, that's I don't know man. Yeah, yeah, that's, I don't know man. It was different, because you'd see all these kids getting picked up by their parents and by then I started to realize something wasn't right and it just, I guess it started to create resentment and hate in my heart toward my dad, and at the time it was my stepmom too, because I thought she was part of the problem. I thought she was just doing it with him, you know, and she wasn't. I found that out years later and just looking back on things I knew, especially now that I have kids, man, you see a lot of stuff that people try to do for you and certain stuff they are doing, you're like, man, this is crazy, I don't want to do this, I'm not going to listen.

Speaker 3: 15:12

Have you ever caught yourself doing something from your past like something your parents did to you, to your kids?

Speaker 1: 15:19

Yes, yes, and I stopped myself Because most of that is like yelling and stuff at my kids. I usually try not to do that Mm-hmm, because my yelling and stuff I got wasn't the yelling I give to my kids and I think about that and I'm like I don't want them to think what I've done, so I kind of water stuff down. But at the same time I try to discipline my kids because I know if I don't, there's it's not gonna be good for them, right um, but I do. My parenting changed a little bit, um, because of the way I grew up and it caused the way I I was treated, because I was abused, essentially, um, physically and mentally abused man, and uh, it got bad and it it makes it. You think you rethink your parenting when you go to try to do certain things to your kids, right Um, you definitely rethink stuff and sometimes it's good.

Speaker 3: 16:14

I watch people with kids that went through, you know, physical and mental abuse. You know either they go to the extreme, they're either worse than what they grew up yes, or they're worse. They, they're, they baby five, yes, and I'm like it's like a never-ending chain, it is it's crazy.

Speaker 1: 16:34

You're easy on your kids and that makes your kids, yeah, turn into like your parents was, which what you didn't want them to be, right I mean, it's hard to walk that fine line, especially if anybody out there's got kids. They've been through what I've been through, you've been through. You gotta watch. You don't want to be too easy on them, but you also don't want to be abusive and mentally abusive to them.

Speaker 3: 16:56

You know I got a fine line I got to the point, you know, that I didn't want kids. Yeah, because as I got older, when I could remember the day, I thought this I was like I don't want to grow up, I don't want to grow kids up, raise kids, like I was right. Yeah, that's when it really started to hit me and I started to see and I was like, and still today I have mixed emotions about wanting kids. Yeah, because I don't want to end up, you know, and I know I'd forgive my mom and my dad yes.

Speaker 3: 17:31

I totally do and I have no resentment. I still have resentment towards I don't want to that responsibility not to raise the kid. But what if I mess up and and I lash out or I end up smacking the kid? You know, yeah, you know, because of anger, because I still deal with anger issues. Yes, I walked into, you know, mcdonald's this morning and just to get me something to eat and it was like all it's going through my head was stupid people, stupid people, you know, and I'd be like if I just reach over the counter and I'm like but I didn't do it. But those are the thoughts that was going through my head.

Speaker 1: 18:11

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 18:12

You know, as long as I've been a Christian and even me coming back I still battle with them. I'm like Lord, forgive me. You know, I'll just go eat my stuff.

Speaker 1: 18:22

Yeah, it's hard. I deal with the same stuff, you know, because, like I said, I had a lot of resentment right and uh, I learned that if I get to the point where I'm mad or where I want to do that, I take a step away from my kids and then I try to fix the problem. Yes, most time I hardly ever have to give them a spanking. Yeah, that's good, and most time it's just I just tell them or try to discipline them a different way. Right, you know, like ipads or I put them in time out and they hate it. So, and it's good. It's good. It keeps me from having to worry about being abusive to my kids because my mom and them was the same way. They would think they was disciplining us and it would just get too bad. There's a line you don't cross and they would cross it. Yes.

Speaker 1: 19:12

And I'm always worried that that would happen to me. So I always try to take a step back and rethink things before I ever do anything. My wife grew up in a different household and from what I grew up in. Right and the disciplinary thing we sometimes agree on and sometimes we don't. Right. But I think it's all a part of the way he was raised. But at the end of the day, there is a line you don't cross and a line you can't cross I'm afraid that I'll cross that line.

Speaker 3: 19:47

I guess that's what holds me back. Yeah, the fear of that. Yeah, maybe I'll probably be the best parent to ever walk. Yeah, you know, face of the earth, but I I don't. You know, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 19:56

Yeah, well, parenting is not easy. No, it is not I was a kid.

Speaker 3: 20:00

I know what I put my parents.

Speaker 1: 20:03

Yeah, it's, uh, it's a blessing. At the same time, though, man, I love my kids. I wouldn't trade anything for it.

Speaker 3: 20:09

Right, they're great.

Speaker 1: 20:10

They're great kids and I'm blessed with that. Right, I really am. But I finally got off to seizure medicine and stuff and started realizing, after my coach had to take me home and everything, because he would pretty much do everything for me.

Speaker 1: 20:27

He'd take me out to eat with the team, like there'd be times teams would go eat and I wouldn't be able to go with them yeah I remember those days they would just take care of it for me and, uh, I always respected my coach especially now that I look back all the stuff that he would do for me. He didn't have to. He could have very easily just leave me be or tell me I couldn't be on the team because I couldn't get a ride or something. But he also knew that was my scapegoat, I guess you'd say at the same time, because him and my stepmom ended up getting to talk and she explained things to him and I did know that part that she talked to him because I had a lot of anger issues and he ended up talking to me on the car ride and later on in the future she actually told me that she talked to him and that's really kind of what started putting me in the right path, I guess you'd say, made me start thinking about things more and I knew I didn't want to raise a family. If I ever did and thankfully I do now I didn't want to raise a family the way my dad raised me or my mom. My mom ended up getting saved and we ended up men in our relationship back, but she even said that she wished she could have done things differently and I don't want my kids to have to go through what I went through, right, but at the same time, I probably wouldn't trade it because it made me the man I am today. Right, the Lord's definitely used that and turned me into a different person and I'm able to talk to people about the same stuff.

Speaker 1: 22:09

But I ended up the resentment got so bad that we would get in like physical altercations, me and my dad, yeah, like it got that bad that the cops and stuff would get called and I was, I was getting ready, he wanted to send me to juvie, um, and actually what happened was that night, um, and this is actually the same night I ended up getting saved. Um, it was bad man, he. I don't know what it was, but it got to the point to where I was just fed up. I got tired of hearing the nagging and the physical stuff going on and all that. And, uh, I where I was just fed up, I got tired of hearing the nagging and the physical stuff going on and all that, and, uh, I decided I was gonna stand up for myself. Um, and mind you this, my resentment stuff was so bad I would fight in school, I would get.

Speaker 1: 22:59

No, I didn't want to fight, but at the same time, if somebody came toward me, I would just step up and handle stuff right um, and it got to the point that I was like that with my dad and, uh, that night he done something and put his hands on me and I was done and I was I was naturally stronger than he was, um, so I pushed him off of me and started shoving him around so I could leave and he wouldn't. So punches started getting thrown. So I threw punches long enough to be able to get and we almost knocked the refrigerator over in the kitchen and that's where it started. And we started throwing punches and stuff and I'd done it long enough to get them off of me and went to go off the front porch to jump off and he grabbed me. So I picked a tiller up and tried to shove him with it. Yeah, I still got to score on my arm right here from it ended up cutting me and I finally got away from him enough to take off down the road and, uh, I was mad.

Speaker 1: 23:55

I was so mad, dude. Um, I was headed to one of my buddy's houses that I used to hang out with when I was living in another part of the county there, and I was actually headed to his house to. I don't know what I was going to do. I'll be honest, I was just mad and walking and I started walking down the road and apparently they called the cops and the cops was looking for me. I didn't know it, um, but I got to this uh railroad trestle as I was going down the road and uh, I stopped and I was looking and I was just ready to be done. Man, I was. I was hating life. I think I was 13, 12, 13 year old, 14, something like that, right, so I had all those teenager hormones and everything going on. He was just a mess.

Speaker 1: 24:48

Yeah, it was bad man. And uh, I climbed up on the edge of that uh railroad trestle and, um, I kept on thinking, nobody loves me, I'm gonna end my life. And I said that over and over in my head nobody loves me. And I stood there what felt like forever, um, and I was getting ready to jump and as soon as I was getting ready to take that step to go off the edge, um, the Lord. I know people say how do you know? The Lord said this and I know for a fact he said this to me because I heard something and looked around and nobody was there. Afterwards he said I love you, don't do it. And I started bawling my eyes out, man, because at that moment I don't know how to explain it it was like a love just wrapped around me and just filled my heart, and I know to this day it was the Lord, my heart. And uh, I, I know to this day it was the lord um, if, if he didn't intervene, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. Um, but I turned, I, I got saved that night. I realized what it was and I, I got saved that night and uh, ended up, uh, walking to my friend's house and ended up going back.

Speaker 1: 26:07

He wasn't home. The lights and stuff was off at his house. Nobody was there. So I walked all the way back to my house and got almost home and a cop picked me up and he was talking to me and I told him the story and he was like well, they want to send you to Juvie. He said I don't think you need to go to juvie, I think you're just having a hard time and you all need to go home, work this out right. And he drove me to the house and, uh, he left me in the car. He said I'm gonna go talk to them, see what they want to do. And uh, he went up there and talked to my parents and, uh, the whole time my dad was telling them to send me and my stepmom was the only one that kept me from going to juvie.

Speaker 3: 26:49

Yeah, they had me pinned to military school or boys' ranch. Yeah, and it was either. Or. You know, I was in the eighth grade, yeah, and then another option come up and I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go and the school that I was going to in ninth grade offered a ROTC program. Yes, and that's where a lot of my life began to change. I learned discipline, I learned structure. You know uniform structure, you know. And I learned what it was to be a man Because my instructors, you know, they taught me, yes, as much as I hated them. They taught me, yeah, and you know we would get in the cussing matches with you know my instructors, they're used to it, you know, you know they're, they're ex-military. You know that's like boy, you cuss me out, I'll cuss you out. You know this goes both ways. And and um, that that made probably the one biggest impact of my life and it's still with me today.

Speaker 1: 28:05

Yes, yeah, yeah. It's crazy how father figures or any man that comes in your life yes, they put forth the effort to try to help you. You cling to them.

Speaker 3: 28:18

Yes.

Speaker 1: 28:19

It changes.

Speaker 3: 28:20

Even today, I'm 48 years old, I still cling to people that show some type of male authority and I'm like, I'm drawn to it, because I was like, why won't men be men? Yes, you know, and it's just like be a man, you know.

Speaker 1: 28:37

I used to cling toward women because of my mom raised me pretty much most of my life.

Speaker 3: 28:43

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 28:44

I mean, and my stepmom stepped in, um, I pretty much got weight raised by women. Yeah, because my dad he was, he stayed strung out on drugs, my stepmom was only on work, and so that's how I thought things worked. Yes, you know, and um know that feeling, yes, and I women had a strong part in my heart because it was always the mother figure type thing, I guess you'd say Because my dad, I guess I lacked a father is probably the easiest way to put it. So every father figure I would have I'd kind of resent because of that.

Speaker 1: 29:25

Um, and what really broke was when my coach, he started, uh, helping me and uh, that's really when I started to open eyes toward men and like how it's supposed to be. Yeah, you know, because I always the only father figure I seen was my dad, and that wasn't a really good one, you know, and when you get somebody trying to help you, you think they're just criticizing you or whatever you've been told the rest of your life, man, you think they're doing the same stuff. So you kind of resent the initial help they give you, right, um, but the more and more men try to step up, more and more I was willing to like follow in their footsteps, I guess you'd say. And thankfully, when I got saved, there was a church I was able to go to and I ended up the youth pastor there. He's really.

Speaker 3: 30:25

Youth pastors are amazing, man, um, they are, uh, they see stuff that a lot of people don't get to see, right, and they get to talk, they're hands-on right there yeah and uh, especially for spiritual advice, if you got a really good youth pastor, um I think I would have been different if I had some type of figure like that in my. My figures was you know, box it until it's over with. You know, cuss each other out. You know just the men that I was around, you know they was good men, you know, don't get me wrong, but you know you tell they had a tough life too. So they, they knew the best way to teach me yeah and and then my mom.

Speaker 3: 31:09

She had a rough life so she did the best way she knew how to teach me, yeah and uh. You know, like you, like he was talking about testifying about you know fights all the time, you know just lashing out all the time and I just didn't know how to control it yeah, and I think that's an issue, um, because we're not the only ones that's been through that or will go through that.

Speaker 1: 31:31

That's right, um, the issue is, you have I don't know how to say it um, and it's not just men really, um, but for the, the kids, that's, the boys that um been through what we've been through um, they really need a father figure. Yes, uh, somebody that's there for disciplinary and, um, I don't know how to explain it, man, I guess to talk to him like a dad would, or a father I had also have a disciplinary action to try to set them straight too, you know I got chewed out not too long ago for doing something like that.

Speaker 3: 32:15

Really, you know it was two siblings and he hauled off and punched his sister and I just grabbed him, without you know, without hesitation, yeah, I just grabbed them, picked them up, throw them over my shoulder and walked them in another room and said we don't hit. Yeah, especially we don't hit women, you don't hit. And it was inside the church house. Next thing I know I've got the whole family coming down my throat. You, you choked my son. I'm like no, yeah, you know, I said he, he, he hit a woman or he hit a girl.

Speaker 3: 32:45

And you know you don't do that and and I'm like they're like you gotta do this this way, and I'm like I know no other way but to tell you straight up you don't do it.

Speaker 1: 32:55

You know, and I agree, I'm the same way, because that's how it was with me. They just yeah they'd handle her right then. And there you know my mom, which I'm fine with that. She would give us wolfings and stuff in school and the stores for not listening. People do that nowadays and they think you're the worst parent in the world. I know right. But yeah, it's crazy how society nowadays is demoralizing men, and that's really what's going on. They're demoralizing men and taking the father figure stuff out of everything.

Speaker 3: 33:31

The way I look at men, the way a man should be. Christ was a man. Yes, he died for the church. I think the men should be willing to die for his home. Yes, I agree. Yeah, no matter at the cost. You have to step in and be willing to die for your family. Yes, that's the way I see a man. I don't want to die, but that's what it takes, I agree.

Speaker 1: 33:57

And it's not necessarily just for your family either. It starts with your family. It starts with your family yeah, you're right any woman or child out there. You have to be able to sacrifice yourself for them, right?

Speaker 3: 34:10

it's it, I don't know. I just I have different views. I a lot like yours. I just we, we live in a twisted society. Yes, and it's almost to the point now that I'm like lord Lord, can I just turn my head? I said I don't want to do it. Every time I say something or do something I'm getting chewed out. He's like nope, it's the truth. Yeah, and he goes why the truth? Because the truth sets you free, son.

Speaker 1: 34:35

You know, yeah, I'll be honest. If there wasn't, men like how we talked about that tried to step in and teach me the right thing. I had a principal it was a male principal, right, he paddled me so hard he broke my belt loop. Wow, I had the most respect for that dude ever since, and it was because I was fighting in school all the time. Right.

Speaker 1: 34:54

And my dad wouldn't do nothing. So my stepmom told him Right, and she was like he needs a paddling and his dad's not going to do nothing. You need to do it, I'm giving you permission. He pulled a paddle out of his desk drawer, yeah, and grabbed me a hold of my belt loop and lifted me up and swapped me and I'm I don't know what it was man it I had respect for him, you know, and I think that respect is.

Speaker 3: 35:19

He showed authority, yes, in a way that you've never seen it. Yes, it's not that he was being mean to you or abusing you, it's respect. Yes, you know I worked in a jail. You know, yeah, you can go around and brutish your way around the cell, become a cell boss, you know, or just bully people. But there's a different respect that you give people you know. Yes, and I think that's what I've seen in the men in my life. There's a, there's a different respect that you give people you know. Just don't, and I I think that's what I've seen in the men in my life.

Speaker 1: 35:48

Yes, and the thing is, after he gave me that wolf, I get technically a whooping is what I'm gonna call. After he paddled me, he sat me down and told me what was wrong and, like, explained it. Oh yeah, and that's a key right there that was probably worse than the paddling.

Speaker 1: 36:06

Tell you the truth, yeah, because it made you feel like it was nothing. Yes, and as men, that's what we need to do. Yeah, you know, and that's I try to do that with my kids, um, and try to stay away from the actual physical whoopings and stuff and just try to pretty much tell them. And it seems to work for the most part, because it does. It makes you feel like you're an ant, it makes you feel tiny and it kind of makes you realize that you're being goofy and you shouldn't do that. But going back to the testimony, there, I ended up getting saved at when I was trying to commit suicide there, and that wasn't the first time and I there were several times I'd sit at the house late at night, start crying and start thinking about stuff that cause. At that time I realized you know, after all, that stuff my coach would do for me. I realized that wasn't how life was supposed to be and I was questioning everything and I I hated it. I always asked why I had to go through the stuff I went through and I was always saying why me god. Yeah, you know, I always couldn't understand it and there would be times I would hold an ice to my throat and just ready to end it and I would just be crying so bad I couldn't do it. Um, and that night was the night that finally pushed it over, right. I mean, I ended up, I gave my life to the lord that night and that intervention is what kept me here this long.

Speaker 1: 37:46

And I ended up going to church and it was on Easter and the preacher was talking about Daniel in the lion's den.

Speaker 1: 37:55

I was actually going to read scripture on it because I knew it would come up, but I was going to share my testimony on it instead.

Speaker 1: 38:03

It was about Daniel being in the lion's den and it hit me and it probably wasn't even the sermon he was trying to go, but when he started talking about it, it just started running through my mind and I felt like I'm surrounded by everything you know and it felt like the walls was just caving in on me and stuff. And I ended up going up to the altar that night praying, and I don't know what happened, but I was praying to try to get comfort and stuff in my situation, because I realized I think it was seventh grade when all this was going on. I was up there just praying, and praying and praying and all of a sudden I guess I just started speaking, like I could feel me talking. I started speaking in tongues and it was weird. When I was speaking in tongues it was like at first I started saying words and my tongue, my mouth wasn't moving and then it started coming into gibberish yeah and I remember there for a split second I was like what is going on.

Speaker 1: 39:16

And then, literally two hours later, it got to the point that my stepmom ended up coming down to the church. Because we never showed up, we're gone off the church bus. Wow. And uh, she showed up and I remember there toward the end I vaguely heard the preacher talk to somebody and he said these kids have been up here so and so time. He said their stepmoms at the door waiting on them. They've been gone so long. And uh, I remember, man, I was praying and I still had to deal with seizures and stuff. And uh, I've not had a seizure since then.

Speaker 3: 39:51

I was getting ready to ask you when was the last time you had one?

Speaker 1: 39:55

I've not had a seizure since that night. Praise the lord and uh, it was all. It was an awesome feeling. I I felt it's like how you get saved. You have this like the world's been lifted off your shoulders. It was like that.

Speaker 3: 40:11

That peace that surpasses all understanding.

Speaker 1: 40:14

It was crazy the amount of peace that I felt and of course it didn't change the way my dad and them was living. I was still in that situation, but my mindset and my heart changed in that, knowing that there's a better option for me, and I started thinking about kids and you know life and at that point I made a decision. I didn't want to be like my dad when I grew up. Right a decision. I didn't want to be like my dad when I grew up. And I think when you get saved and you have those experiences, the Lord changes your heart and he changes your mindset and you get out of those situations the best way you can. And mine was through church. When I lived with my mom I would go to vacation, Bible school and stuff all the time. So I guess, technically, church was, I guess church was my piece, especially as a kid.

Speaker 3: 41:16

I didn't want to leave my mama's house. Yeah, because she drug me to church.

Speaker 1: 41:22

Yes.

Speaker 3: 41:22

As much as I didn't want to go. She disciplined me and I knew what would happen when my mom did finally come and get us Back on the road, back on the run, yeah, running from something or someone, and, uh, I didn't want to. I wanted that stable. Yes, you know stability, I guess, wherever you want to call it, you know lifestyle. Yeah, and my grandmother and my step-pop offered that to me and, uh, I missed that yeah I miss that tremendously and that's why I've traveled all over the world.

Speaker 3: 42:00

You know I've been there, been done this before I was 19, and people are like, whoa, you gotta travel, you gotta do this I just want to stay home. I want to stay home.

Speaker 1: 42:10

They're like why?

Speaker 3: 42:12

yeah, if you live the life that I have lived, you'll know why I'm a homebody now. Yes, sometimes I find myself getting that little bug and wanting to go take a trip. Yeah, but I'm coming right back home yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the same way.

Speaker 1: 42:26

I don't like to be gone no longer than two days yeah, that's enough, I'm ready to assume, maybe three maybe three. Yeah, as soon as I leave, I'm ready to go back home. You know, and I I really think it's because of having to bounce around and move around all the places and you never had a stable life.

Speaker 3: 42:44

I look at kids that had that stability and that you know, that stableness in their life, and then I look at people like me and you testifying about and I could see a tremendous difference. You know, in their, everything about them yes you know, uh, just the way they perceive things or they go about things, it's just it got to a point.

Speaker 1: 43:07

I'm like man, these people make me sick you know, look like you start to resent them in a way.

Speaker 3: 43:12

Yeah, leave it to beaver people over here. You, you know. But then in one hand I'm like man. I wish I was like them. Yeah, you know. Yeah, me and my sister, we do a lot of front porch talking yes. And that's one conversation that comes up quite often. Yes, you know, a little, leave it to beaver over here. Family's making me sick today, but I love it, you know yeah yeah, yeah, you, uh.

Speaker 1: 43:40

Especially when I was younger man, I would always kind of get frustrated toward people that would go somewhere on summer vacation. Right, they call it summer vacation and I'm like, why do they call it that? I don't ever go on a vacation I stay at the same place suffering.

Speaker 1: 43:57

You know, yeah, and all these other kids are being able to go out and go to beaches or, yeah, to amusement parks or something like that. You know, and uh, I always, uh, that was always something hard for me to deal with. I always hated when someone rode around because that means I was pretty much left alone. Yeah, or so I thought. You know, especially as a younger kid, your friend groups are during the summer. They're pretty much gone.

Speaker 3: 44:24

They're gone.

Speaker 1: 44:25

They disappear until school comes back again, you know, and it was always something hard to deal with and I always tried to find. I think that's where fishing started to come in play for me, because I would. I finally got a fishing pole and I tried to go fishing a lot, yeah, and I fell in love with it.

Speaker 3: 44:43

Man and mine was art really drawing because I, uh, I didn't have a river or lake nearby. Yes, it's quite a long ways to travel well, I didn't have one either.

Speaker 1: 44:55

I was always walk because, I mean, my dad didn't care what I done, right, so I would walk to the lake or wherever to go fish, and I'd be gone for till midnight I can uh fish in the sewers where I was raised at.

Speaker 3: 45:07

But yeah, but I always drawn to art and I would express myself through, you know, drawing. Yes, and that drawing got me in trouble. It got me to the point to where the state was questioning my home, yeah, my parents, yeah, my upbringing, and they forced me into what the state of Texas calls the pavilion.

Speaker 3: 45:34

It's a mental institution but, the state of Texas calls it a pavilion. It's a mental institution and I still today think it was the grace of God or it was God that got me out of there, because I was destined to be locked up somehow, some way. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 45:49

And I was the same, not the mental institution part, but being locked up I should have been. Yeah, you know, I can literally tell people, I've been tested.

Speaker 3: 45:57

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 45:59

Yeah, as much as I've done, man, and I got saved and stuff. And you know, you're a kid, you're a teenager, you have your ups and downs. You turn away from God and you start doing your own things and that's actually part of the scripture I'm going to read here in a minute. There was times I was doing stupid stuff. I should 100 been arrested and somehow, some way, the lord just I didn't. And I really think that was all because of the lord, because I even told people stories and they're like how did you not get arrested? How did you not get in trouble? And at the time I was like man, I had no clue. I don't either.

Speaker 1: 46:40

But it was God. Yeah, he was 100% protecting me from my own self, right, and I am thankful that he done that. Amen to that. I am thankful that he protects you from your own self, from your own stupidity. That's it. And protects you from your own self, from your own stupidity, that's it. And actually I was listening to a preacher on YouTube one day and he was talking about how God can use stupid and I started chuckling at first when I heard it because I was like you, stupid. And he started talking about what we're talking about now.

Speaker 3: 47:11

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 47:12

You make stupid decisions and God can still get the glory from it, right? You make a stupid and God can still get the glory from it, right? You make a stupid decision to drink and drive and you end up getting arrested. You may see it later on down the road, like some of these guys that you've talked to be strung out on drugs and stuff, and then God ended up getting the glory from it anyways, you know, and it was kind of like that, I mean, we all make stupid decisions.

Speaker 3: 47:37

Yes, we all make horrible decisions sometimes, um, and god can still use that for his good and that's awesome that amazes me, the the short bus decisions I've made in life the stupid, most stupidest decisions, and I, you know, and the worst thing was, that really made me mad was when people called me stupid. Yes, oh man, but then I would sit there and do some of the stupidest things there ever was.

Speaker 1: 48:06

Yeah, and you're like, why are they calling me stupid? I know right Now. I know why. Yeah, it's crazy and at most times it's older. Yeah, they end up calling you out on it.

Speaker 1: 48:18

You know it was funny, um, because I ended up we moved back to kentucky with my dad, um, not long after the whole incident went on, with, uh, my dad and me getting an altercation and me getting saved and going to church speaking in tongues and all that. It was like a two month time period. Yeah, my stepmom left um, and I really started to realize what was going on after that between them, um, and she left because she didn't want to be a part of it, right, um? And she didn't say goodbye and I was. I was kind of hurt about that and couldn't understand why.

Speaker 1: 48:55

So that started another spiral for me and it was getting ready to be my eighth grade year you know that's the biggest year for somebody in middle school and my dad just plucked me up and moved again and it started another downward spiral for me and I was so frustrated when he done that because we left, had nowhere to go, right, we packed up a little u-haul with what we could and he left um and moved to tennessee in with my uncle, so we didn't even have a house. So I was having to stay with my uncle at the time right, and it was me, my dad, my uncle and, uh, my cousins and my sister, so there was like six of us staying in a little three-bedroom house.

Speaker 3: 49:44

So I've been there, done that, I know that feeling that is not fun no it was not. That makes you want to go out and do stuff. Yes, not good stuff, not bad stuff, just do stuff, and then you end up getting in trouble yes, and thankfully that part of it.

Speaker 1: 50:00

We lived in the country, okay, um, and there was nothing to get in trouble with. I mean, I can go ding dong, ditch somebody's door, but I'd have to run two miles, you know, right. But there was a river close by, so I'd stay going fishing all the time, right. And then I ended up finding a church Somebody Pete, I don't know if you know who he is, but he used to pick me up for church. He lived in Carmel. In there, he'd pick me up for church every Sunday and every Wednesday, wow In his van and take us to church.

Speaker 3: 50:35

People don't know how important a bus driver is. No, no. They probably got one of the biggest roles there ever was.

Speaker 1: 50:42

Yes, yes, they do, and you really get to know somebody driving somebody back and forth to church, like that you do, and I really think he knew the situation we was in after a while of picking us up.

Speaker 3: 50:56

Yeah, there's no doubt he did.

Speaker 1: 50:58

And I'm thankful for Pete I really am. He was another one of those men that had an impact on my life.

Speaker 3: 51:06

It's amazing how God will put different characters into your life. Okay, I'm going to put you this person, and they show some type of strong manhood yes. And then this person comes in your life and they're not some type of strong manhood yes. And then this person comes in your life and they're not as strong in their manhood, but they're more sensible when it comes to certain things. So you got a little bit of this person, a little bit of this person, and all of a sudden, jesus comes in yes, and he says I'm gonna give you all of me, yes, and. And all of a sudden, it all seems to work.

Speaker 1: 51:36

It's amazing, though it still amazes me today, man, I've been saved since 2012. I mean, I backslid and done crazy stuff, but I've been saved since 2012.

Speaker 3: 51:50

I got saved in 96 or 97. Backslid from the Lord and that was hard, yes, that was hard. That is hard to come back. Yes, when you walk away from God, walking away from like pretty active church life, you know, and I've seen God do a lot of things and it's just walk away. Yeah, and I was stupid.

Speaker 1: 52:14

Yes, and that's what I was going to say. I've been saved since 2012, and it's amazing to see how God still works. You can do that, you can walk away, and he's just there, yeah, at the same place. You left him. That's it, because he didn't leave you. No, you left him. He's always been waiting for you.

Speaker 3: 52:35

He constantly told me every day that I walked away from God. I left the 99. Yeah, it wasn't. A day goes by I heard I left the 99.

Speaker 1: 52:44

Yes.

Speaker 3: 52:44

Left the 99. And I'm telling you, though, I'm so glad that he accepted me back into his family.

Speaker 1: 52:53

Yes, it's awesome because he has that unconditional love and that's what it is. It's unconditional, yeah, regardless, and it's the same for parents. I try to do the same thing and you know when pete would pick me up. That was the first insight I had on a christian family, right, because they all was christians and he had. I rode with his kids man, he had I don't know how many kids, he had a few, and it was just a different atmosphere. You know, you got in, you can tell yeah, it was completely different. Him and his wife both loved their kids and they had their problems. But you could see, and feel that love.

Speaker 3: 53:32

yes, and that's what I longed for growing up. Was that? Yes, if I probably just had a little bit of that, I probably wouldn't have been as dumb as I am.

Speaker 1: 53:42

Oh, I agree, I agree 100%. And it's crazy because once again, man, we moved and it seemed like every time I get established in a place like that, get going on the right path, we get plucked up again in a place like that right, get going on the right path.

Speaker 3: 53:58

We get plucked up again. This last few years of my, my uh teenagers years is when I started to to uh get into that stable life, yes, and I was like I love it, I love it yeah, it wasn't like that for me, right, my life didn't really get stable till my senior year.

Speaker 1: 54:17

Okay, I'll be honest, um, and I that's actually part of my story well, I fought with my, my mom.

Speaker 3: 54:25

I was like I don't want to go. No, I mean, it was a battle, we got to stay. I don't want to go nowhere. Yeah, I want to be here, you know you got to that not here in. Not here in Kentucky, but it's like I'm tired of moving, I'm tired of jumping.

Speaker 1: 54:39

Yes.

Speaker 3: 54:40

You know, it was just like enough's enough.

Speaker 1: 54:42

Yeah, yeah, it got like that with me too and that's actually. I'll go ahead and get down to that, because that's pretty much where I was going Right. We moved to Cumberland and actually what happened was the pastor of my church that I was going to that Pete, was going to I would help out at their ministry it was Maridzo, the Stables at Creekside, glen, okay, and the preacher there ran that ministry too and I loved animals and the horses really helped, because horses are kind of like humans. You know, I don't care what anybody says, they they're just like humans. They got their own personalities, they act their own way. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 55:25

And it's crazy how much you can relate to a horse, because a certain horse can do certain things that nobody else like you can do certain things with a horse that somebody else can't all right, the horse relates to you and it's like a relationship.

Speaker 1: 55:41

You know, yeah, and horses are an amazing thing, man, that they can just you kind of start to relate to them, right, and it sounds weird to say, but it's true, um, you create a bond with a horse and it's like creating a bond with a human. You disappear for a while. They start to.

Speaker 3: 55:59

You ever heard of the story of the ewe lamb in the Bible? He raised it as he did one of his daughters.

Speaker 3: 56:05

Yes, he let it feed from its own bowl and, you know, sleep and doing all that. The Lord placed a dog in my life. Yes, and I'm not an animal. I love animals. They're god's creatures. Don't get me wrong anybody out there listening. I love animals but I'm not one of these. That you know. I gotta have an animal to feel the love. But my sister come up to me one day she said you need a dog or you need something. And she, she, she knows me best yes and she said you need some support, james.

Speaker 3: 56:39

And uh, I resented it, I fought against it and I I seen my dog, short story. I prayed about what I was going to name her. I went ahead and said, yeah, I'll take her. So I prayed about it, or gave me a name, and, short story, uh, I named her ruth. And I got curious what does ruth mean? Companion? So all lord's pieces started to fall right in the place and he started teaching me through this dog that's awesome and it has given me a lot of support.

Speaker 3: 57:12

I still treat it as an animal yes but I still love it. Yes, as I would if it be my own yeah, I do.

Speaker 1: 57:20

Yeah, that's awesome and that's actually where I was going with the uh, unconditional love still, um, I try to do that with my kids, just like the lord does with us, because in that, at the end of the day, we're still as children and I think that's where I think that's where a lot of people have issues, um, I guess, with god technically well, I'll just, I'm gonna tell you something, lord.

Speaker 3: 57:43

Just I was sitting there telling you about my dog and it's, it's a, it's a live. Let's put this away. The lord just gave me a live update in my brain saying the reason why I gave you that dog. We've been talking about family and me and I you know, I, I, I stressed that I didn't want kids yeah you know, and I'm sitting here thinking you know, listening to you, you know, and I'm like he's like.

Speaker 3: 58:06

That's why I gave you the dog, because you are worthy to have a kid. That's a live update, folks. Thank god ain. God ain't God good. But, I didn't mean to interrupt you. I was just like I got to say that, yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 1: 58:21

That is awesome. Yes, I'm trying to think of where I was going with that, because I don't even know what I was saying. I know, I totally interrupted.

Speaker 3: 58:28

I'm sorry folks, I interrupted this man. I invited him on my show.

Speaker 1: 58:35

That was the Lord speaking just then, not me. I couldn't tell you what. I just said yeah, so I'm sorry, whatever.

Speaker 3: 58:45

I was saying that unconditional love that's what it's all about. Yeah, and I think that's what we yearn and long for above everything else. Is that unconditional? Just love me.

Speaker 1: 58:56

Yes.

Speaker 3: 58:56

And I think if we show that to people, if we're not related to them or not, just show them love. Yeah, I don't like the things that they do, I don't like the sins that they do, I don't, I don't. I'm not going to sit and hate you, yeah, but in one hand I'm not going to condone you either.

Speaker 3: 59:14

And I'd had a gentleman one time I was ministering to he got mad at me, you know, because I told him the truth and I said if I didn't tell you the truth, that means I didn't love you, brother, you know.

Speaker 3: 59:26

And it got you know, and then he pretends to be around me, but I know but and I looked at him, you know, and I said I'm not going to tell you no different. Yeah, I'm going to tell you like it is. You know, and I'm just as guilty as you are you know, and I'm not trying to, you know, pull the mold out of your eye or the the beam out of your eye.

Speaker 1: 59:50

You know, I'm just as guilty as you are you know you can't support the sin, but you try to support the person. Yeah, um, and that's hard sometimes, right, because it reminds me of my dad man. Um, because he was doing some stupid stuff. I guess he still does. We still ain't fixed our relationship yet, but I know the lord's gonna work that definitely, and I have peace in that.

Speaker 1: 1:00:17

But going back to what you said, I don't know how to explain it. I love my dad, yes, but I can't love the sin that he's living in. And it gets hard, especially with your parents, family members, whoever's listening to this. It gets hard, but you got to keep on trying to be there for them.

Speaker 3: 1:00:46

I look at my dad today and he's with me. My dad didn't come back until my late 40s, pretty much. I see the things that he does. I don't hate him or resent him. I look at him and I say I know why you left me and it hurts. It hurts so bad. But then I'm like Lord, I don't hate him, I forgive him. But I see now yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:01:09

See, I used to. It was weird because I used to resent my mom. Real bad, because what was going on? When we lived in tennessee? There was a custody battle going on. My mom was trying to see us and I didn't know it. Um, and my dad ended up telling me that during that custody battle, um, she ended up saying she didn't love us. You know, and you're ready to see your parents, especially as a kid, you, you love your parents. At that time you don't really know good, or bad, um, and it hurt it.

Speaker 1: 1:01:45

Uh. It struck deep when he told me that she said she didn't love us. Um, because you know, you think your mom loves you regardless of anything yeah and you have that same love for your mom. I don't care what anybody says. A mother has a special heart, a special part of their children's life very close yes very.

Speaker 3: 1:02:08

It is completely different than a dad not to demand you couldn't tear as much as me and my mom fought like cats and dogs. You could not tear us. She'd look at me and say, come on, James, we got to go. And I knew what she meant.

Speaker 1: 1:02:19

Yes.

Speaker 3: 1:02:19

I'd grab my bat, she'd grab hers and we was all flittering. You know, it was it and it hurt hearing that.

Speaker 1: 1:02:27

Yeah, because there's a special bond between a mother and her child. Yeah, um, and I I think that's really what started all of my issues that and the fact that I started to realize what was going on, how I was being raised and knew something was off, um, but I think that's where the lord kind of came in.

Speaker 1: 1:02:51

You know how I said nobody loved me right and my mom told me that, and then we moved and all this other stuff blew up with my dad and I pretty much felt like I was alone, felt like nobody loved me, and that's where that started coming from. Right.

Speaker 1: 1:03:06

And whoever's listening to this? I don't know. The Lord loves you. Yes, you're not alone. You're not alone in any of this. Nope, you may feel like you're surrounded, like Daniel in the lion's den. You may feel like you're surrounded by enemies on all sides, but the Lord's there in the midst of everything. That's right. He's there working through the situations that you got going on. That's right. He loves you and, like we said, the unconditional love. Amen, he's got that for everybody.

Speaker 3: 1:03:36

Yes, he does, god is good.

Speaker 1: 1:03:39

Yes, he is, yes, he is.

Speaker 3: 1:03:41

I just, sometimes I'm just speechless. You know, on my past and you was talking about it at the beginning why did I go through all of this?

Speaker 1: 1:03:53

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:03:53

And I think I've tested a little bit, or I've talked about it on the show before, and I here recently asked the Lord why did I go through all of this? I think I've tested a little bit, I've talked about it on the show before and I here recently asked the Lord why did I go through all of this? Yeah, I said I didn't. You know, I've not done as too bad as other people, but I've done pretty bad as some people. And then you know that old Jack of all trades master, none type mentality, yeah, and the lord just said because you're able to relate to these people, you're able to talk to these people.

Speaker 3: 1:04:23

He says I gave you enough trouble. You know I he didn't give it to us, you know it was. You know our, our, uh, surroundings and choices that we make. It's not the lord, lord. I take it back, but I went through just enough to say hey, I can talk to you Sally, I can talk to you Joe, you know, and say, hey, I know a little bit of what you're going through and I can tell you what the Lord can do for you Sometimes it's.

Speaker 1: 1:04:50

I've been there and done that.

Speaker 3: 1:04:51

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:04:52

So, yeah, yeah. So yeah, that was my light bulb moment with God. You know about. You know why did I go through all of it? Yeah, I can help people. Why did the man lay at the pool with the withered hand? Yeah, because he gave glory to God that day that he got his hand healed. Yes, and like the man, yeah, we go through that. Like you, brother, you went through that stuff. There's going to be people that you're going to be able to talk to that some people cannot reach, the Leave it to Beaver. Families can't go out and talk to Tent City, and I know what it's like to live in a tent. I know what it's like to eat out of a dumpster. I know what it's like to take a shower at a Stucky's in the middle of Texas when it's 110 degrees outside. I know what it's like to take a shower at a Stucky's in the middle of Texas when it's 110 degrees outside. I know what it is to live under a bridge.

Speaker 1: 1:05:44

And they're done that.

Speaker 3: 1:05:45

And I don't brag about that stuff. I'm not going to flex who I am on that, but I can tell you that I've been there, I've done that. But you know what God is good.

Speaker 1: 1:05:58

He is, and that's part of our testimony. Yes, and the testimony continues to grow until the day you die. It never stops.

Speaker 3: 1:06:05

You're always going to go through stuff I did a testimony with the, the sister. It does bible talk, yeah and uh. She called me up last week and she says I want to add my testimony and I watched her grow tremendously and how god has moved remarkable in her life and she is now married yeah, and you know, has a husband and you know she's living, that godly woman yes that god intended her to be. Yes, and it's such amazing transformation that we do when we give god to him it is yes it is.

Speaker 1: 1:06:49

It is awesome the amount of people that he puts in your life to try to keep you on straight and narrow, and if you just let him have control, which is hard for anybody it's hard to do it day from day, yes, let alone trying to figure out what you're going, what you're going through right, like how he was you hate life man, you and you don't know what the next step is. It's hard to just be like, hey, I'm gonna trust in this you know it's crazy.

Speaker 3: 1:07:14

I used to hate life. Now I love it, yes, and I was like lord I don't want to die, but I don't want to die for my vein, my flesh. I mean, I don't want to live from vanity, I don't want to live for my flesh. Yes, I'm like Paul, I want to live for you, lord, I said you know, and I was like I honestly can say deep down, deep in my heart, I don't want to live for myself, no more. Yes, I really truly want to live, to be 300 years old, not for myself, but to minister, because I'm having fun.

Speaker 3: 1:07:45

Yes, who could say that? You know that I, I get to talk to the entire world and share my, my deepest, darkest, darkest secrets to you people out there. You know it's like, um, I mean, I could put it out on the table, you know, and just say, hey, you know, it's just like how it, just like. I enjoy it. I'm finding peace in this, I find comfort when I go home after doing an interview or testimony, sharing or just you, you know, preaching whatever God puts in my heart, or listening to Deb, do it.

Speaker 3: 1:08:23

I go home with such peace. It's like the peacefulest ride that I ever had in my life. Yes. I don't know how to explain it, just there.

Speaker 1: 1:08:34

It's crazy. We was talking about this the other day, me and a couple guys from our prayer group um, when the lord moves, um, everybody talks about wanting to get high and stuff, but when the lord moves, that's a completely different high. That, yeah, is awesome. There's no other feeling like it watching the lord work and being a part of his work and being able to just see him move and being a part of it. Man, it's a completely different feeling. It's a completely different high, like you're oh, I got something for you when I walked.

Speaker 3: 1:09:05

When I walked away from god, I I would watch these people get in with the lord and and I would see the move of god start moving and I could see it right before it started. Oh, I want to be in that. Then I, like Lord, says, you can't. You got to first get saved. You walked away. Those are the thoughts that come in and I would look at. I want to go to church, I want to be a part. I would scream inside Like I could be with you guys. I could talk the talk, come on. But I couldn't. Then I would distant myself and then I'd just close myself off. Yeah, that was bad, yeah, bad times. But you know what?

Speaker 1: 1:09:51

I'm here now, yeah, I tell people I've got to talk to several people and everybody has their own story like that yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you go to church, you get saved. You backslide, Because that's what it is. You slid away from God. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:10:10

And then the devil starts working on you and he puts you right where he wants you. Yeah, he puts you right in that dark space where you're like, man, I can't go back. What are they going to think? And then all these thoughts start running through your head and all it is is it's the devil trying to keep you from going back, because he knows the breakthrough you're going to have. He knows the experience you've went through while you backslid. I call it a taking a step back and I'll share this with you. Yeah, go ahead, ahead.

Speaker 1: 1:10:46

We was talking during our prayer meeting one day and, uh, we was outside um, that evening before the prayer meeting, I was with my kids and we was cutting some brush and stuff and, uh, my little girl was trying to help me pull it. My little boy was helping too and, uh, my little girl got caught up on her slide and she got real frustrated, man, and I just kept on encouraging her to keep going. You know you, because I could see the. And my little girl got caught up on a slide and she got real frustrated, man, and I just kept on encouraging her to keep going. You know, because I could see that it was going to break free and I kept on encouraging her, kept on encouraging her to keep going. And right when she got ready to give up, that stick came out. She was able to go on through. And it's like the walk that we have you try to keep pulling, you try to keep going. Now she's able to go on through. Oh, and it's like the walk that we have.

Speaker 1: 1:11:19

Yeah, you try to keep pulling, you try to keep going, you try to just do your own stuff. Yes.

Speaker 1: 1:11:26

And you don't realize the Lord's sitting there encouraging you. He's telling you to keep going, don't give up. He's seeing that it's getting ready to break yeah. He sees what's getting ready to come in your life. Amen, I love. And as soon as you take that step back, it breaks through yes and then you're like, hey, this I should have kept going. I know the lord's right there. He's like. I told you, I told you to keep going. All you got to do is listen then what the devil meant for evil.

Speaker 1: 1:11:50

God turned around for good yes, and I think that's stuff we forget. A lot is. You may think that you're, uh, hit a wall john talked about it, um and you may think that you hit this wall and there's no other way around. Yeah, but the lord said keep on going.

Speaker 1: 1:12:07

That's right and you will get through this yes it's like any storm anybody goes through, whether you're not saved or not, or you're a new christian. It don't get easy for anybody. Everybody still goes through stuff. It's life. It's never going to be perfect until the Lord comes back. But you just got to keep on going. You got to keep your eyes on the Lord. I'm going to go ahead and get into this.

Speaker 3: 1:12:32

I was going to ask you if you go to read.

Speaker 1: 1:12:35

It was Jesus walking on water. Let me just read it, it just came up. It was Jesus walking on water. Let me just read it, it just came up.

Speaker 3: 1:12:59

The Lord is definitely moving in here Praise the Lord, praise the lord, and, while he's searching for that scripture, if there's anybody out there that don't know the lord and you're, you're you're going through the same thing that we've talked about, and I'm pretty sure you have. You probably either went through it worse or about the same. You can relate to us, you know, reach out to us. You know I'll have uh, I'll have his information and and stuff on my website, and you can reach out to me and we'll make things happen. But most of all, though, talk to god. Reach out to god. You know. Call upon his name.

Speaker 3: 1:13:35

I said at the beginning of the show whosoever calleth upon the name of the Lord shall be saved, and I believe that, with my whole heart, you just call upon the name of Jesus. That's all you got to do. You know. It's like the two men that hung on the cross. You know, with Jesus, all he did was just look over to Jesus and said a few words, and Jesus turned to him and said you'll be with me in the kingdom, and he meant it from his heart too. And he meant it from his heart. And don't be the other guy.

Speaker 1: 1:14:08

You know that lifted his eyes in hell, be the guy that lifts his eyes in heaven. You ready? Yes, yeah, go ahead. I'm gonna just go ahead and read in. Yes, it was right after they uh, done the fish and the bread, okay, um. And it says, starting at verse 22, immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side. Okay.

Speaker 1: 1:14:23

But the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten up by the waves, and for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified and said it's a ghost. And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke unto them, saying Take heart, it is I. I do not be afraid. And Peter answered him Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water. He said come. So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and began to sink and cried out Lord, lord, save me. Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him oh, you of little faith, why did you doubt? And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased and those in the boat worshipped him, saying Truly you are the true son of God.

Speaker 1: 1:15:35

And when I was talking about that a minute ago, I thought of that verse. And it's every time we go through something we think we can do it on our own, and the lord's standing there and all you got to do is keep your eyes on him. That's it. Just focus on him and him alone, and he'll get you through all that. But the second you take your eyes off of him, you'll be like Peter was You'll start to sink, you'll start to freak out, you'll start to drown and you'll feel like everything's ending and he's just there to help man. You just got to keep your eyes on the Lord, it said after he said he got on the boat boat and everything was calm. If you stay with the Lord, he'll bring you through whatever storm you're going through.

Speaker 3: 1:16:26

Right.

Speaker 1: 1:16:26

You know, that he will you just got to keep your eyes on him, and him alone.

Speaker 3: 1:16:30

It's a powerful message, simple message.

Speaker 1: 1:16:32

It is, but extremely powerful. It is.

Speaker 3: 1:16:36

We just don't understand the simplicity of God. Careful it is. We just don't understand the simplicity of god. I mean he is complex, don't get me wrong, but he's so simple. Yes, I mean the way he deals with us. You know just everything about him. His ten commandments are really, really simple. Yeah, you know what's what's not simple about? Love your neighbor, just love them. Why do we have to make things so difficult? I'll never get that, though.

Speaker 1: 1:17:11

You know, I think about that all the time and people say keeping up with the Joneses, yeah, and I think the issue they have is is ain't got the lord in their heart. That's it, because you're seeking after something that's not there, something that somebody else has, and you don't know what they've been through, you don't know how they've earned that stuff yeah they could be like me and you.

Speaker 1: 1:17:32

You know, you look at one of us and like he's got a nice truck or he's living in a nice house. Yeah, and you don't know that. He was living in the street at one point in time and the lord's just provided all that for him my truck that I got outside.

Speaker 3: 1:17:44

Yes, I didn't pay for it, the lord gave it to me. It's just plain and simple yes and, uh, everything that you see in the studio, god give it to me. Yeah, he did, and I started up the ministry I testified about today in front of a brother. You know he was talking about faith. Yeah. You know, and I said Lord told me to start a podcast up. I was like I ain't got nothing. Before the week was up the check was in my hand.

Speaker 1: 1:18:11

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:18:12

To start up what I needed and, as two and a half three years now, it's grown. I'm sitting in this little room and lord's blessed me. Yes, you know, and I, you know, I, I I'm allowed to have bragging rights, but I try not to do it because of, uh, my flesh. Yeah, I don't want to give into my flesh and stuff, but I had to give god the glory yes I am three percent in my category, you know.

Speaker 3: 1:18:41

So if you do a search, you know certain words or topics that you're interested in when it comes to religion and stuff like that. You know, out of so many people, I'm in that three percent and that's a big deal in this podcast world. Yeah, you know people that get in that three percent. You know people like joe rogan and you know and all these people like that and and he's big and he is because there's a lot of people in his category yeah but lord says he'll make a way and he has yes

Speaker 3: 1:19:13

and I thank god for it. And, uh, I couldn't do this without him, I couldn't do this without you, I couldn't do this without you. Know, you coming to me and I'm coming to you and having you on the show and stuff like that, and you know, and without your obedience? You know, we're many bodies, many members in one body. I should have said it backwards we're many members in one body. I should have said it backwards we're many members in one body and we can't do this without each other. We have to be a family and that's what we've talked about since the beginning is we have to love each other and we have to be a family.

Speaker 3: 1:19:56

If the family structure starts to fall apart, know, it's like the walls of nehemiah. You know it crumbles. And then, you know, nehemiah cried out to god, you know, because of the, the crumbled walls, and he brought together the family of god, his people, and they started to rebuild that wall. And, uh, that was one of the first stories that God really kind of spoke to me when I come back to God was, you know, the story of Nehemiah and his cry and how God had used Nehemiah to bring his people back together. It wasn't a king. It wasn't all that, it was just a simple man, it was a tool and he brought his people back together and that's the key. You, you know they did some amazing things. I love the story of nemi if you ever get, you know, truly deep. I mean these people built the wall and they built it with one hand. Yeah, I mean they held a weapon in one hand and built the wall with another hand, but beside it's the, it's the family part.

Speaker 1: 1:20:58

Yes.

Speaker 3: 1:20:59

What are we going to do in heaven? We're not going to fight each other. We're going to live as a family. And he says that's why he said you call me father.

Speaker 1: 1:21:10

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:21:11

Because I was fatherless.

Speaker 1: 1:21:13

Yes.

Speaker 3: 1:21:13

And it echoes constantly in me I am the father to the fatherless.

Speaker 1: 1:21:19

yeah, and that's just plain and simple yes, yeah, that reminds me of, uh, my youth passion. You know, I told you when you're moving toward yeah, and it got to the point. I was in high school. I started my freshman year in high school. We moved. Thankfully, we moved in the same county two or three times yeah and, uh, it got to my junior year.

Speaker 1: 1:21:43

No, we moved my sophomore year and my dad moved back to electric county to stay with my aunt because we had nowhere to stay, right, I mean, it was just me and him at that point. We had, we moved around, man, and we had my stepmom. Her daughter was still living in cumberland, right, um, and I would stay with her some, um, but when we lived toward where my church is, I met a buddy of mine and his dad. I mean, we've been friends since freshman year and he was in eighth grade at the time, um, but his dad ended up uh, I ended up getting out of my dad's house, is what happened right, I got tired of moving around and bouncing around from place to place, like you said yeah so I only had a certain amount of stuff.

Speaker 1: 1:22:37

I would keep um, and I would literally go from house to house trying to stay in a place just to get to school, right, um, because there would be times electric would be cut off, I wouldn't be able to shower or nothing, so I'd go stay with somebody yeah to be able to shower and actually get something to eat.

Speaker 1: 1:22:54

Yeah, because it, honestly, it was. At that point we fend for ourselves yeah. Yeah, and most people say that naming like oh, cook for one night. I mean like I had to find a way to get food and eat fend for myself.

Speaker 3: 1:23:07

That's my biggest thing. One of my biggest problems right now is I like to have food in my pantry. Yes, it is a constant struggle with me, because when you're raised without food, you live on ramen, noodles and macaronis.

Speaker 1: 1:23:22

Yes.

Speaker 3: 1:23:23

Maybe a pack of hot dogs. Bologna sandwich.

Speaker 1: 1:23:25

I was making bread out of flour just to have something to eat.

Speaker 3: 1:23:30

I ate those cherry pies out of the dumpster because the hostess got through them away. Yeah, that's the God's honest truth about sitting here. I mean it was I never had sweets in the house, never had. I had cheap Kool-Aid Stuff you get from Save-A-Lot. Yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:23:48

I mean, it's just I didn't have the good Kool-Aid, you know pack of cheap. You know sugar that matted together, you know clumped together. And I thank God, though, for know clumped together. And yeah, I thank god, though, for my childhood, though I guess I wouldn't be where I'm at today, so I try not to go and say what ifs sometimes I do, it's, it's part of human nature it's hard not to yeah, it's real hard not to and I joke with my wife all the time because they're about my sophomore year.

Speaker 1: 1:24:17

She because we started dating. At that time they realized kind of the way I grew up. Yeah. Because after my stepmom no, I'm trying to think here it's been a while since I had a birthday party, or cake at that for my birthday, right, I thought that was normal and they didn't know that. Um, so on my birthday I went and stayed over at my girl my wife's, now over at her parents place yeah for a while and, uh, her mom made a cake for me and I didn't think nothing of it.

Speaker 1: 1:24:54

I was. I was thankful, you know, yeah, um, and I was eating it and and we got to talking. I was like you know, it's been a while since I've had a cake for my birthday. Her mom started crying and I didn't know why. Yeah, and my wife told me a while back, after we got married, that she wasn't expecting that. Yeah, and I thought it was normal, you know.

Speaker 3: 1:25:19

I resented Christmas and I resented birthday parties. It's truth to truth. Yeah, when you grow up without you, you have a tendency to resent the things that are you know the right way.

Speaker 1: 1:25:33

Yes, you do. Yeah, and it Like I hate when people do stuff for me. Yeah. Because growing up I didn't really have it, and if I had it, I had to do it on my own, yeah, and now it's weird to even ask for help for something. Right. It's one of those things. I would much rather do it myself than bother somebody, Because that's what it feels like. You grow up like that and you try to get help from somebody. You feel like you're bothering them. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:26:03

I mean, that's how it was when I was living on the. I was living on a riverbank at one point in time in my life to go to school, and when I would go stay with people, I felt like I was a bother.

Speaker 3: 1:26:11

I was washing dishes and going on the riverbank and living and bathing the. I was bathing in the river, going back, washing dishes, going back and just making ends meet. My mom was we didn't have a home. We, you know, we was like living off the river bank yeah tent people.

Speaker 3: 1:26:30

You know, yeah, that's it. You know I had just made enough money to put gas in my car and make it backwards and forwards and I think it was three days. They'd kick us off so we had to move our campsite. You know, just a few feet that way and yeah, it's crazy what you'll do to survive yes, and the thing is, I could have very easily went with my dad yeah and I felt like if I would have done that, I would have been in the same situation.

Speaker 1: 1:26:58

He's in right and I wanted to break that cycle.

Speaker 3: 1:27:01

Because people like that will eventually pull you in and it's sad but it's true and that's why, you know, the Lord tells us to seek out our own soul and salvation and to keep our click small. Yeah, you know, and shut yourself in the closet. He didn't say shut yourself in the closet with everybody else, he said you get into that closet. Yeah, you know. And lord you know, if you look at god's ministry or christ's ministry, he often went off away from everybody and he kept himself away. Yes, people, I mean that we know some of the other reasons because he didn't want the people to king them, right then, and such and such. But there was a lot. There's a little deeper understanding than with that.

Speaker 3: 1:27:46

Why did he go off? Because people have a tendency to suck you into their lifetime. You know our, their lifestyle and and, and I live. I try my best to live like a hermit, yeah, but I try my best not to live like a hermit. So I try to show myself a little bit of social and then I try to say I don't think I'm going to go out today. You know, and it's plain and simple. I don't have friends, yeah. I have acquaintance, yeah, and I don't think there's anything wrong with? It.

Speaker 3: 1:28:24

Yeah, you know, maybe the Lord might put somebody in my life in the future. If he does so, what? If he does good? But you know, not nothing towards nobody else. But that was a big part of my growing up too is I wanted to fit into the social crowd. You know, I grew up. You ever seen the movie outsiders?

Speaker 1: 1:28:47

Yes.

Speaker 3: 1:28:48

That was my, that was my people, that was my friends. Yeah, Literally that's what they look like, rolled up cigarettes in their sleeve. You would think I'd grew up in the fifties, but you know the people that I grew up with. That was what they grew up like, you know, and you know I grew up drugs and alcohol, like I told you, like you and you know, and it was like you know, you know you, you rumbled. Yes, you know everybody went out to the park. You, you know the area that I lived at. You know you went out and fought. Yeah, you know you fought your neighborhood. You know person across the street and everybody went home afterwards. Yeah, you know, it's just crazy. I lived an outsider's life.

Speaker 1: 1:29:31

Yeah, I was telling kids the other day it went well when semester was going on at college that we used to not fight in school unless it absolutely had to be done. Yeah, yeah you would get out of school, you'd find a place to meet up, you'd settle, you didn't fight in school.

Speaker 3: 1:29:47

That was the, that was the no ground, yeah, unless you had to, yes, you, you just didn't fight because you didn't want that trouble yeah yeah, that where I grew up in a large city. You just didn't want that trouble. Yeah, because you was going, no matter what you was going to, you know the juvie home you know it was quite simple.

Speaker 1: 1:30:06

Well, the high school started charging people when they got into fights oh, yeah, my sophomore year I think

Speaker 1: 1:30:12

wow they started charging people so you didn't fight, unless you absolutely had to. Wow, most of the people would meet up and fight some words and say, little beef and you're friends the next day. Yeah, you know, but yeah, it's crazy to see that and to know I was like that and the Lord brought me through, yeah, and he continued to put people in my path and I can't share my testimony without sharing, uh, my youth pastor that right that was there it sounds like he had the most impact.

Speaker 3: 1:30:48

Well, it's one of the biggest impact he had a big impact on me.

Speaker 1: 1:30:51

But this other guy, um, he ended up taking me in, yeah, his home, um, and it was my soft my junior year, toward the end of my junior year, um, and, like I said, I was trying to just find a place to go and he brought it up to me one day when he was taking me somewheres and said, if I wanted to, I could live with him because, I mean, I was old enough to make that own decision on my own, um, and my dad obviously wasn't gonna fight it, um, so I ended up thinking about it and I I actually took him up on that offer and moved in with him and, if it wasn't for gentlemen like him and people like I, was living on creek bank, going to church yeah if my church would have turned me away.

Speaker 1: 1:31:34

It's untelling where I would have ended up, because that was a crucial point in my life that it would have made or break me. You know, and thankfully, I was part of a good church. Yeah, a lot of those men tried to guide me and direct me in the right path.

Speaker 3: 1:31:49

I tell you, what the steps of a righteous man are ordered by God. Yes, you know I'd have never met you if we hadn't met in revival. Yeah, I'd have never met you if you know you wouldn't, with danny and yeah, you know a few other people and, uh, god directs us in the direct he does path and and you, you guys listening, you don't know exactly. I mean, we've talked before the show. I think we ended up talking almost three hours or close to that, and just, you know, not reminiscing, you know, about the good old days. It was more like our testimonies are like almost identical. You know, give or take a few things, but we, you know, there's somebody out there that if you're struggling, if you're listening and you're struggling with like nobody knows, I, I don't know who to talk to, I don't know how to talk to somebody you know, and God will put those people into your life that you'll be able to help.

Speaker 1: 1:32:49

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:32:52

You know and I want to testify about this 13-year-old girl got up and she testified in church how she had been dealing with suicidal thoughts and wanted to kill herself and how God delivered her. That's awesome. Maybe that might be the only thing she ever goes through in her life, but she's going to be able to help somebody and let them know that Christ brought them through or going to bring you through it.

Speaker 3: 1:33:19

She's 13 years old got up, not stuttered one bit, not shuddered one word, not batted one eye. What nervous has got you know. She just got up and said to the lord, help me. It's confident and as bold. As you know, people that deal with suicidal are very, uh, setbackish. You know they're, they're, they're, they don't like to talk to people yes you know, or they're very. They don't want people to know their business, you know? Uh, you know, I don't.

Speaker 3: 1:33:52

I know I was like that oh, I started shutting people out, yeah, and I watched my mom do that, you know, just constantly throwing things away, no reminders of this, and and uh, and the little girl got up with bold, 13 year old girl got up with boldness and testified how god delivered her from that suicidal spirit. Yeah, ain't god good he is. But I guess to say all that you know, just, it, don't matter what you're going through, you can be a help to somebody, you can be a family to somebody you know, talking about your youth pastor and these men, these coaches in your life, you, you're going to help somebody not even know it. Yeah, you're going to help somebody. I guarantee you and I and I, I know there's somebody out there that's going to listen to this.

Speaker 3: 1:34:39

It's going through that yeah, because god's word don't go void it does not and everything here says is not void. You know and and not take. And I, I have no doubt, no unbelief about that. I know god is going to help somebody, minister, and it's bringing them to the ministry, yes, and you're going to minister, you're going to help people, you're going to set people through, free, through god. I'll praise the lord, I, I just I thank god for it.

Speaker 1: 1:35:08

Yes, I do so yeah, there's a scripture in the bible that talks about not letting your light be hidden. Right, the city on the hill is always seen. Yes and uh, I've always tried to live my life like that. I've always tried to brighten somebody's day. Or right, you never know what somebody's going on going. You never know what somebody's going through. I'm sorry, no, you don't, and it could be that simple smile. Hey, how are you doing that could keep somebody from killing herself that day.

Speaker 3: 1:35:40

You know, you really never know, a simple pat on the back, a simple, just yes that's it just a show of an affection.

Speaker 3: 1:35:50

yes, I had a pastor and he never would say nothing to me, but he'd just come up, put his hand on my shoulder, he would pat me and I have maybe five people in my life that I put you know that I could say I trust with my life, he's number, he's one of those five, you know, when it comes to pastors in my life, and I believe that if I was to go to him today, him today, he put his hand on my shoulder and listen, that's what we need. Yes, that's what family is. Yes, wow, I, I didn't think this would go this way, I really didn't. And, uh, we, man, we, we've been on here a minute and 36, we've been on here an hour and 36 minutes that's awesome.

Speaker 3: 1:36:36

That's the lord right there because I came in not knowing what I was going to say yeah, and I had just done a podcast right before you showed up, so I was like I'm out, am I going to be all talked out? No, yeah, you can't.

Speaker 1: 1:36:49

There's no way to out talk god? There is not, especially when he's got something to say.

Speaker 3: 1:36:53

He's oh, yeah, I. You know it truly amazes me, though it's like because I've been behind the mic. You know I'm not like oh, what do I say now? You know, it truly amazes me, though it's like because I've been behind the mic. You know I'm not like, oh, what do I say now? You know it's awkward moments, there's nothing wrong with it. It happens, yeah, but it's just like. Yeah, you know, god's god is what he is, you know, and he provides. And see, he provides everything, even the words that we speak. He provides. That's why he says be slow to speak, slow to anger, because he'll provide even the words for us. He even provides the right anger for us, because I believe there is a right way to get mad and get angry and I believe it's one of those fine line things as a Christian. That's why I was like I really don't want to go down that road unless I have to.

Speaker 1: 1:37:39

So I try to keep my temper yeah I, I mean I I did get angry today at mcdonald's but I, I walked away yeah you know I thought about getting on yelp and yelping at them.

Speaker 3: 1:37:51

It tells you got some crappy employees. That's funny. I mean, it's just the truth. And you know these woke out. See you go.

Speaker 1: 1:38:00

I could get going here and go on left field, but it's easily done, and the best thing to do is hold your tongue, because I'm the same way. Yeah, hey, all this stuff going on in the world. Yeah. You just want to be like hey, what are you doing? You know about, like the old men that you talked about. Yeah. I've talked about work. It's all about, like, the old men that you talked about. Yeah, I've talked about. Why aren't?

Speaker 1: 1:38:20

Like that's stupid. Stop, yeah, you know, but some, most of the time, not sometimes Most of the time yeah, it's best to hold your tongue.

Speaker 3: 1:38:26

Yeah, and sit back and I'm finding that out. I'm almost 50.

Speaker 1: 1:38:42

And I'm just not finding it out learned this because I pray for peace. I mean, uh, not peace, um, patience, yes, and let me tell you something if you ever pray for patience, you better be ready to be dealt. Patience, yes, because the lord will answer that prayer and it's honestly, it's probably the best thing for me and it's really helped me.

Speaker 3: 1:38:54

Yeah, because I, like I said you, know the lord tells us to seek out those gifts and yes callings and all of that that the Lord has to offer, because that's what's going to get us through.

Speaker 1: 1:39:04

Yes.

Speaker 3: 1:39:05

You know Christ had so much patience with these people. Yes, he had contentment, you know, and just—he'd just sit back and keep his mouth shut.

Speaker 1: 1:39:15

Yep, and you learn a lot doing that too.

Speaker 3: 1:39:18

He even sat back and braided a cord and made a whip and then said I will show you how to be angry here a bit. So there is a right way and a wrong way to do things, and I think we need to learn that yes, yeah, yep, and I said that, but man, I still struggle yeah we all do.

Speaker 1: 1:39:37

It's anything in life. We're going to struggle, but you need to constantly seek yes, that and seek him. Um, and I I really think we've talked about it several times, it keeps on coming to my mind keeping an eye on the lord. Yes, as long as you do that, you're fine now it's going to be hard.

Speaker 3: 1:39:55

Yeah well, can you imagine you living in a society today without God? You're not going to be able to do it. No, and especially through and I believe, though, you've heard John talk about it, our pastor, and talking about these end times, and I believe, though, it's going to get, it's waxing worse, and if we don't have the family of God in our life, we're not going to make it. You are going to go over to the family of the world, and it's just plain and simple. And right now, I believe, with my whole heart, we are seeing a separation of the tariff and the wheat. We're actually seeing that being sifted as we speak, and God's just putting his pieces in play right now, and we are a big part of it.

Speaker 3: 1:40:42

You know, and I, you know, the pastor got up and talked about, you know, the woman breaking the alabaster box. You know that that precious ointment that was in that alabaster box, and seeing, that's what god's doing now. He's broke the box and he's pouring out these last days and, uh, and he's, he's telling us you know, proclaim the gospel, proclaim what the goodness of god. And see, brother, that's what we're doing here on this show. You know, we're proclaiming what god can do, what he will do, and we're also proclaiming what he won't do. Yeah and uh, we're proclaiming what God can do what he will do and we're also proclaiming what he won't do.

Speaker 3: 1:41:22

We're proclaiming the things to come and the things that we're dealing with now. I tell you what God is good. I can't say that enough sometimes.

Speaker 3: 1:41:32

God is good. I kind of feel things kind of narrowing down and coming to a close and I'm going to ask the brother you know to pray and I pray with you. And again, before we pray, though, if you are out there, I beg you, I beg you, I beg you, you know, I cry out to you with supplication Pray, pray, pray, pray. Just call upon the Lord and you know he will save you. I don't know how to say that. Enough, that's all you got to do. I can get on here and give you a bunch of other words and make it sound beautiful and type out you know a script that you know that would make abc and nbc and all those other great. You know great networks and stuff like that, but the greatest words that I can tell you is trusting the Lord with all your heart.

Speaker 1: 1:42:25

All your mind and all your soul.

Speaker 3: 1:42:27

Go ahead and pray, brother.

Speaker 1: 1:42:29

Dear Most Gracious Father. God I want to thank you for the opportunity to come on this podcast. Yes. Father? What JD does God? I just thank you for his willingness to serve Father. Thank you for speaking through us, us, god. I pray that this message that we had, god, and testimonies we shared and the stories we told. God I pray that it just, uh, reaches the heart out there, father, because if just one gets saved, that's all that matters, god, and if one just gets lifted up, that's all we care about God.

Speaker 1: 1:42:55

I pray that you just, uh, work through this podcast. God and the words that was said. God, I pray that you just touch through this podcast. God, in the words that was said. God, I pray that you just touch the hearts and souls that needed it. Father, and anybody that needed lifted up. God, I pray that you just let this minister to them, father, and the opportunity we had to come in. God, just watch over us, father, and keep us safe. In Jesus' name I pray.

Speaker 3: 1:43:14

Amen. Hey, this is your host, JD. You're listening to the 421 Show. Hey, go check out our website at hor421showbuzzsproutcom for all your latest content and information. I'm so glad I know. I know the worth of prayer and when we kneel down to pray Just say I thank you, jesus.

Speaker 1: 1:43:47

I thank you for one more day. One more day, yeah.